As It Stands — 'Kauai or Bust!'
By Dave Stancliff
It seems that when we finally find greener pastures in our lives, we usually can’t climb the fence. After 34 years of marriage, my wife and I finally went to Hawaii — her lifelong dream destination. My proverbial fence however, was climbing inside an airplane to get there.
I was never enthralled with the concept of hurtling through Earth’s atmosphere at 20,000 or 30,000 feet above the ground. Call me silly or a coward. It was a plane that took me to that dirty little war in Vietnam, and I’d never forgive that airline if I could just remember which one it was!
Despite my queasiness, I knew that we all only live once. Oh yeah, I also learned a happy wife is a happy life! So, combining humor and medication, we made plans for a week-long April getaway this year to the lush garden paradise of Kauai — the place of my wife’s dreams.
In order to prove that the combination would work, we flew (a practice run if you will) to Las Vegas in mid-March, to attend my wife’s nephew’s wedding. I took a prescription sedative my doctor had prescribed and meekly climbed aboard.
So, I’m sitting next to the window, so people don’t bump into me in the aisle, and I’m wondering how experienced was the pilot of this US Airways plane. In my head, I heard a pre-flight announcement coming from the captain, who just recently graduated from an Online Flight School: “We’re going to be taking off in a few ... Whoa! Here we go!”
Somehow, I survived the flight there and back in a happy fog, rumbling stomach and all. I hadn’t been in an airplane since the very early 1990s, and I noticed some differences in today’s no-frills flights.
We were not allowed to board without exact change, which didn’t bother me as much as the smiling captain’s reply as I passed him and asked how often their planes crashed. Still smiling, he said: “Just once!”
Kidding aside, getting to Kauai turned out to be hectic. The trip consisted of my wife, Shirley, one of my best friends from high school, Larry, and his wife Nanci. We purchased our plane tickets many moons ago and thought we were very clever saving some money and we were ready to go. But no!
The day before our scheduled flight to see, “The Garden Island’s” wonders, ATA Airlines declared bankruptcy and we were left with our packed luggage and stunned looks. In desperation, Larry called the travel guide who had originally booked us and whined a lot. She came up with another plane for us but there was one small problem. We would have to wait for four days until this new flight time. Oh yea, it also cost each of us another $250 to make this happen. We took the booking however, sensing that it was going to be difficult getting one any sooner.
Good old American Airlines. You gotta love them. They decided to ground about 900 of their planes about 15 minutes before our new flight was Kauai-bound! It seemed pretty obvious that the gods of travel were conspiring against us, or the nation’s air carrier economy was just collapsing. So, we had to wait another day and got a motel.
The next morning, we were on edge and nervously approached the check-in windows at American Airlines with our most recent flight arrangements. Our hearts sank when the ticket lady looked at Larry and said there was no such flight number arriving! His eyes rolled back in his graying head and we all groaned, but all was not lost! After 20 minutes of talking to people on the phone, the clerk consulted with her co-workers and actually smiled!
She had something for us! Happy days! We were going to get to go and only had to wait for another six hours! Clutching our carry-on bags and new boarding passes, we walked over to a group of chairs and slid into them trying hard to smile. None of us had ever been to Kauai. It was Shirley’s lifelong dream.
I’m glad to say we made it and had lots of fun for a week. There’s just not enough room here to share our adventures on The Coconut Coast, but next week I’ll be glad to recall a few interesting and humorous moments. We never got in a tour bus because we were an adventuresome group and rented a monstrous land yacht instead.
We also went on a quest for the best burger on the island and I think we found it — by majority vote. Did I mention we conserved our hard-earned cash by looking for Shaka (Hawaiian for great) deals?
As It Stands, stay tuned for — Escape To Rooster Island!
It seems that when we finally find greener pastures in our lives, we usually can’t climb the fence. After 34 years of marriage, my wife and I finally went to Hawaii — her lifelong dream destination. My proverbial fence however, was climbing inside an airplane to get there.
I was never enthralled with the concept of hurtling through Earth’s atmosphere at 20,000 or 30,000 feet above the ground. Call me silly or a coward. It was a plane that took me to that dirty little war in Vietnam, and I’d never forgive that airline if I could just remember which one it was!
Despite my queasiness, I knew that we all only live once. Oh yeah, I also learned a happy wife is a happy life! So, combining humor and medication, we made plans for a week-long April getaway this year to the lush garden paradise of Kauai — the place of my wife’s dreams.
In order to prove that the combination would work, we flew (a practice run if you will) to Las Vegas in mid-March, to attend my wife’s nephew’s wedding. I took a prescription sedative my doctor had prescribed and meekly climbed aboard.
So, I’m sitting next to the window, so people don’t bump into me in the aisle, and I’m wondering how experienced was the pilot of this US Airways plane. In my head, I heard a pre-flight announcement coming from the captain, who just recently graduated from an Online Flight School: “We’re going to be taking off in a few ... Whoa! Here we go!”
Somehow, I survived the flight there and back in a happy fog, rumbling stomach and all. I hadn’t been in an airplane since the very early 1990s, and I noticed some differences in today’s no-frills flights.
We were not allowed to board without exact change, which didn’t bother me as much as the smiling captain’s reply as I passed him and asked how often their planes crashed. Still smiling, he said: “Just once!”
Kidding aside, getting to Kauai turned out to be hectic. The trip consisted of my wife, Shirley, one of my best friends from high school, Larry, and his wife Nanci. We purchased our plane tickets many moons ago and thought we were very clever saving some money and we were ready to go. But no!
The day before our scheduled flight to see, “The Garden Island’s” wonders, ATA Airlines declared bankruptcy and we were left with our packed luggage and stunned looks. In desperation, Larry called the travel guide who had originally booked us and whined a lot. She came up with another plane for us but there was one small problem. We would have to wait for four days until this new flight time. Oh yea, it also cost each of us another $250 to make this happen. We took the booking however, sensing that it was going to be difficult getting one any sooner.
Good old American Airlines. You gotta love them. They decided to ground about 900 of their planes about 15 minutes before our new flight was Kauai-bound! It seemed pretty obvious that the gods of travel were conspiring against us, or the nation’s air carrier economy was just collapsing. So, we had to wait another day and got a motel.
The next morning, we were on edge and nervously approached the check-in windows at American Airlines with our most recent flight arrangements. Our hearts sank when the ticket lady looked at Larry and said there was no such flight number arriving! His eyes rolled back in his graying head and we all groaned, but all was not lost! After 20 minutes of talking to people on the phone, the clerk consulted with her co-workers and actually smiled!
She had something for us! Happy days! We were going to get to go and only had to wait for another six hours! Clutching our carry-on bags and new boarding passes, we walked over to a group of chairs and slid into them trying hard to smile. None of us had ever been to Kauai. It was Shirley’s lifelong dream.
I’m glad to say we made it and had lots of fun for a week. There’s just not enough room here to share our adventures on The Coconut Coast, but next week I’ll be glad to recall a few interesting and humorous moments. We never got in a tour bus because we were an adventuresome group and rented a monstrous land yacht instead.
We also went on a quest for the best burger on the island and I think we found it — by majority vote. Did I mention we conserved our hard-earned cash by looking for Shaka (Hawaiian for great) deals?
As It Stands, stay tuned for — Escape To Rooster Island!
posted by ams at 5:30 PM
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