Hawaii’s nice, but home is the place to be

I’ve confirmed continental drift to be an ongoing process. The Hawaiian Islands are farther away than they were 55 years ago when I was last there.
And, amazingly, they kept moving while we were there on this trip. I swear the trip back was longer than the trip there, even with the jet stream pushing us eastward.
I have great respect for ancients who migrated across oceans on flimsy rafts. I traveled with US Airways and it was still challenging. But, travel issues aside; my daughter’s wedding in Kauai went off perfectly and beautifully.
We landed last Wednesday at Lihue, picked up our rental car and headed to Poipu Beach and our condo. The vast majority of Kauai isn’t developed so there’s no big, complicated highway system to confuse this southern boy. I never got lost which is testament to its simplicity.
We checked in, got keys, pool towels and directions to our “home.” A big surprise came when I first entered.
As illustrated in some “Star Trek” episodes, I operate with a basic prime directive whenever I check in anywhere — “Locate thermostat. Locate thermostat. Locate thermostat.”
I couldn’t find one! I searched so much I felt like one of the Coasters. I even opened closet doors and checked under tables. No thermostat! Finally, I realized there were also no vents … duh.
Good grief, this was a gorgeous place of stunning grounds filled with flowers and palms, an obviously “high end” accommodation … but no air! It had louvered vents everywhere so once opened, allowed breezes to flow. I’d just have to go “native” for a week.
The next day, I stopped by the office to pick up some brochures and the lady asked if everything was well. I told her I was amazed the units didn’t have air-conditioning.
She explained they were built to capture the ever-present trade winds. I told her that was all well and good but personally I’d happily trade the trade winds for a few tons of Trane.
Friday night, the wedding party — about 26 folks — attended a luau on the beach complete with lots of torches, drums and Polynesian dancers. A full moon rose over the palms at about 8 p.m. and mirrored in the surf. It was definitely a Kodak event.
Sundae made a beautiful bride, which isn’t surprising since she’s also a beautiful woman. It looks easy when you have so much to work with.
The ceremony took place in a gazebo by the shore at the Grand Hyatt and went off without a hitch. Of course, I wasn’t comfortable outside in my tuxedo but the perpetual breeze was blowing.
At this momentous event my temporary discomfort was of no importance. On the positive side, I probably lost a few pounds but will never know how many. I quickly replaced them with Hula Pie.
Folks, if you’ve never had that treat put it on top of your to-do list. But, I suggest you hurry because as soon as the Food and Drug Administration gets wind of this stuff, they’re sure to act. Nothing so good can possibly stay legal.
After the ceremony, there was a cocktail party by the surf with all manner of drinks garnished with excellent music. By the time we all headed to dinner, I’d removed my jacket and was feeling more human. It wasn’t long before I also came out of my shoes.
Dinner was a multi-course treat with toasts and counter-toasts. Our tables were bordered on two sides by a beautiful coy pond. Thankfully, the “trades” blew through the restaurant.
The night ended after dinner for us but not until the wee hours for the more hearty guests. When all were eventually rounded up, I was told it resembled an Easter egg hunt with some found in and under bushes.
Sundae and Shingo left Monday for a few days in Honolulu and then on for a week on Maui. We, Jan and David, Tad, Gloria and Megan did some sightseeing, taking a helicopter trip around the island.
That, in and of itself, was an amazing occurrence. If anybody ever said Ann would voluntarily take such a flight, she’d have categorically rejected any possibility of it happening in a hundred lifetimes.
Well it did happen and now I think she wants a helicopter. We have a DVD of the flight, complete with her sitting in front, by the pilot, telling him when to stop and go and how to turn. Some habits can’t die.
When we left, I was ready. Those islands are beautiful; the food delicious, and weather spectacular but home is home.
Our local beaches are wonderful and just a short hop, skip and a jump away from the Bahamas and tropical flowers, aromas and foods. All they lack is Hula Pie … a good thing for me. I love it but don’t need it.